Annd im back

there isn't enough space on the Internet for me to bitch about my problems so im just going to suck it up and move on. Im now in my newer place, and that's filled with pure shit, but I forced myself to get the internet back since noone has even thought about it since I quote " fuck that, your not getting the net back because noone's paying it. "

I spent 5 hours on the phone with a cock of a man who wrote my name wrong and also put down the wrong door number. After things being cancelled and re submitted, and a lot of day light hours gone, I FINALLY got the dispatcher to change the 2 to a 3. OH SHI- sooo im looking at a hefty bill next month seeing as they messed up and got my door number wrong, Its understandable considering I live in a shack

 

Im doing my own thang, working at the xbox place and fulfilling the life goals I set for myself, step one is complete and the second is on its way, maybe then I can attain some peace, Im tired of typing all self righteously so who knows looks like its time to close,

PAYCE mofos- also im proud of kimmy for getting that awesomeness

The most important thing in life is to see to it that you are never beaten

So ive recently come to the conclusion that I cant save anyone. If you have been reading this shit for long, you would see that its a trend of mine to play the superhero role and save everyone I possibly can and then bitch my dick off when things go wrong.

Recently shit has hit the proverbial fan and ive been in a deep depression. Things have been going bad from the get go, and 08 was suppose to be the year of great things, I should have been moving on up like Kimberly has, Im so proud of you by the way. More on that soon.

After a pretty bad breakdown which led to me walking around randomly in the dead of night and falling asleep on a park bench while talking to my dad, I went back home and decided. Enough is most certainly enough. I wrote out a plan and I am going to stick to it. On Tuesday I wrote out the plan as follows:

1. Get a job

2.Pay off bills by Jan 1

3.Get licence by Jan 15

4.get use car by Feb 28

5.Move out on my own by Sept 1

 

as of today ive achieved one of five. I got a job working at the xbox games distribution centre. Fun stuff considering my love of games. Here's to the beginning of all my plans into fruition.

If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.

This year of '08 has been wonderful for some and shitty for others, I'm not here to bitch and moan about my hardships when others don't have feet.  I will say this, I realized that I cant be everything to everyone ever. I try an give and I cant do it, but yet I wouldn be satisfied doing anything else, So I am at an impasse. I don't have any idea as to what I should be doing. I cant be happy one way or the other and to use a brighter phrase up Shit creek with shitty paddles. I'm taking baby steps to becoming a man. I'm still trying to fix everyone but now im also going to include myself in the everyone facility. there are a few steps that need to be done in order for me to be on the way to being fit for living.They are paying off my bills, getting a car and moving out. These 3 things simple as they may are essential for me becoming a self sufficient man. I will do this.

 

side note: I spoke with a friend of mine who consisted to asking me a series of nonsensical questions and from the answers she got every nook and cranny of my personality including my foibles like hiding under the shroud of laughter, It was unnerving to have all my armour exposed like that but it also felt pretty nice. I think ill continue talking to her for a little while longer, sure I don't get any pills but still she's cheaper than a shrink

Life must be on the rag

I say this because Im pretty sure I said the same thing and mother life has now decided to destroy me. life is fun that way, Pms is a fearful thing, yay God