Dead tired..

Why do I have such stupid ideas?  Can anyone tell me the answer to that question?. I decided it would be a good idea to work over time today, so that means I would start work at three in the afternoon and end up working until three- thirty in the morning. My body is just about to drop kick me in the sack and I cant blame him. He's  a growing boy and needs his rest... Ok no he doesn't , but he doesn't need to spend his time busting his ass saving the world for 11 dollars   a hour when he could be sleeping...or gaming... or drawing. ten bucks for anyone who catches any references in my posts. though I haven't actually watched the show.

 

...damn my body hurts me so.

Not sure if I should be worried...

But I have been staying home everyday for like almost a week and im thinking that I should be worried that im about to get the boot. doubtful cuz im super loveable but still you know,Cammy doesn't really like to be broke.

Get your head in the game

Well  this is either a  very awesome moment in history or else its the worst day in exxistance,   I called my work today and told them that i have school  monday and fridays and tat i could only come in on tuesday, wed, and thursday.  This was in  part because i wanted to have a longer weekend but also because i wanted to work on a few pieces of my portfolio  that were givin me trouble.

Im  focused today and what to work but i also have a few things on my mind, Oh well, so long as i finish up my hands today , im golden.

 

Next agennda, the brother is really gettin on my nerves.   i find myself moved to strangle him in his sleep. I should prolly get that checked out before something bad happens. 

Untill tomorrow, same cam time,  same cam  channel

I am quickly going crazy

Well i wake up today, and thats always a blessing. But what i didn't care for   was the lady who is almost as old as  jesus  bangin on   my door and yelling that the  garbage needs to me taken out...in the 20  feet of  snow, plus when im done doing that jolly job im sure that   I will have to  do something about the snow  as well.

I say  I  am  sure about this because all though it wasnt said specifically to me, when someone is looking for  chores to be done , the task  inevitably   falls upon my shoulders to compleate  the task at hand because my brother for all intents and purposes is a jackass and or,  a dipshit, more than me,  if that could really happen.   He will look  you in the eye and say    "yah mom, ill get right on it" with that  sarcastic   tone which is wired  into his talk hole, and then as soon as the door closes; he's all like "  I  aint doing shit" in a whisper and goes back to watchin porn on his laptop or whatever the hell he is doing. HOW DO THEY FALL  FOR IT EVERY  TIME.

So by now you can tell that im in a semi cranky mood which isnt going to go away by the time  this post is compleate not to menntion that im still stressing the sheridan portfolio. But that is another matter in and of   its self. Also ive started to see ghosts again, I THOUGHT that it   stopped with my old apartment but apperently not, my little sister also has started to see things for the first time which is fun  to watch, when im in a bored mood  its good to watch her freak out to herself not telling anyone whats going on as she thinks shes the only one that this happens to. Doesnt matter if  you believe or not, doesnt make it any less true.  

hmm what else to bitch about today?  Oh ok, yah the eating healthier thing isnt working at the moment.  Just last night i got popeyes and ate four peices of chicken, plate of spicy friess, those damn good biscuts and  2  600mL of pop. mountain dew and docter  pepper.  looks lie imgonna have to work out today or just say screw it to the whole damn  thing lol.

Cam doesnt feel so good

well i found out that life is sometimes really REALLY gay. I was going to school today and i got to islington subway ready to go downtown when i decided to take out twenty dollars for the day. When i tried to take out the money i was denied even though i knew that it was in there. so i then proceeded to go into the bank and ask the teller what was going on. He pretty much gave me the look which told me something was wrong. The "negro you have no money" look  which pretty much told me i shouldnt really be in the mall at this time. Apperently there was a card taken out on my name and it was overdrawn which sucks and my money was on hold till it could be sorted out. Well now, im stuck in the crossroads with "no money"  and time running out before i would litterally be stranded in toronto. I decided to make a break for it and head back home on my already expiring bus transfer.

 

that isnt where this day goes to shit though. When i finally made it home adter the ordeal  that sucked major horse nuts. I turned on my computer and realised that it asnt starting up. Infact  it wasnt even loading up past the windows screen, so i spent a total of 11 hours working on it value by value, megabyte by megabyte till i figured out the problem. Exhausting to say the least.

Realization

I recently sat down and had a long conversation with my self figuring what I would do, if I couldn't do what I love which is being an animator. To be perfectly honest I don't think there is anything else in the world that I would be happy with. There is nothing that I can think of that I like to do for a career choice than drawing. I have to make a lot of sacrifices but I definitely have to prepare myself for the unimaginable, just in case my skills aren't good enough this year.

In a field of clovers

So sunday that just past, meaning yesterday . I had thef fortune to go hang out with my nerdy buddies from high school and we went out to see cloverfield. For all intents and purposes, i felt that it was a fairly decent movie, I mean basically it shows you the troubles of a bunch of new yorkers getting screwwed over by some giant monster dude, I wont give anything away but I can tell you this that you will get a headache or possibly throw up as the movie is shot with a hand held camera and there is alot of running.

speaking of running, IM running out of time. theres alot of things that need to be done in my life and i am just getting a hold of them. Surprisingly enough I find myself thinking about someone more and more and maybe im feeling something for someone i shouldnt which tottally isnt cool.
haha meh, a little self denial and its all gravy.

until next time,
later days

Its GO time

well it looks like the time to buckle down and draw like my ass fell off has come. I have 44 days and counting to bust out the greatest portfolio in the world and i know i can do it. I just have to avoid distractions and focus.This is not good news for the worlds oldest procrastinator. Any help or motivators could really help me, so peeps get on it.

just another waste of time

dont really know why im so bummed but i just feel like im going around in a circles and im doing the same thing over and over again. But either way , this made me smile

Going to hell with icecreme shoes

This blog is two fold one to show you how awesome of a person i am and secondly to show you how horrible of a person i am. lets start out with the awesome.
Well as we all know im cool and i have a twin whos name is kim ..kim...cam ...kam whoa ok that just popped into my head, but anyways moving on. I sort of lost my train of thought, but what does it mean when your pretty much constantly thinking about someone, especially when that someone probably isnt thinking about you back. wow i think i had a serious thought for a minute so without further ado, lets show off how horrible of a person i am by showin a video and telliung you that i laugh so hard every time i hear her scream.... horray for burning . that is all, carry on
Um I think that hurt just a tad

Only when the drugs are gone, i feel like dying

thats right ladies and gents, I am dying. theres no ifs ands or buts. Ive been sick for a few days and this is it, im letting the sickness win. The time is 6:10 in the morning and i actually allowed myself to be beaten into submission and made to go to bed at 8:01pm. Isn't that fucking sad, especially when I am known for not sleeping for five days at a time, or sleeping every day for two or three hours and being fine.

So. I ask you eveyone out there in readerland, please help me, join your hands and give me the secrets needed to defeat this frosty bitch. I refuse to be sick any longer than thursday and if i am i will hold you responsible kimmy, trust me, if I am sick, you will be sick. With that being said- lets get it on! no more sickness!

The monkey with the dark eyes

Well todays is a curious day as I dont know how i should feel. Yesterday was the best of times and the worse as I saw my grandma in the hospital and wow she was changed. She was once this old, strong, bitter lady in a wheel chair that once said I looked like a girl was now transformed into this frail crumpled looking bitter woman who couldnt talk and had tubes going down her throat to keep her lung enflated, but still was an asshole with her eyes. God I love her, haha.

Work was also an eventful one, as I found out I could potentally die all throughout the shift as a box of unshelled bullets came jumping down the chute and bouncing around to the floor. One unplanned jolt or maybe even a flame and this carton of death could explode and destroy me, and that wouldnt be cool cuz then i wouldnt be able to write this lovely blog.
Ok lets see, I've talked about death, sadness and fear...of being shot by 400 bullets, so i think i have to end with something fun or happy and that is I hate you kim cuz i dont remember what mean thing i had to say about you.. im sure its the KFC. But I guess it could be said that i had a fun time drawing naked peoples...hmmm definnatly this post fails..hard.

OHHH! Wait i remember what the happy thing was, I was feelin particularly gangster today because I didnt find any socks that were clean so i went to my sisters room and found white ones that i didnt choose , black ones that i didnt choose, but BAM! I picked out these white ones with pink, yellow and blue rings around my ankle with a weirdest looking monkey face on the front. I rocked it on the bus and when people looked at me. I was like " yah, thats right! monkey! brap brap... that is all.
till next time
-later days

Motivation

Up until a few mins ago I hadn't really had anything to post on this blog but then I went on kims page and read it and smiled, and laughed and was in awe that she was so open about herself, so honest about all her flaws and things that make her interesting.

Later while having a conversation with her haha i pretended to have no idea about her blog and let her show it to me again, and once again I smiled , laughed and was in awe. I am attempting to be honest with myself just a little and intimate with you all by letting you in on a little bit what makes me, me.

Im far to negative for my own good but i put up a brave front to the point were i almost believe its true and i constantly second guess myself even if im sure im making the right decisions. I do things to others that i think is funny but if they did it to me i would probably swear my ass off or start a fight. In relationships i often find myself not calling you back not because i was busy but because im doing something more fun,I definatly have to work on that but im not a big phone person...unless my cell phone is working otherwise im stuck sitting in my grandmothers room as she breaths her hot breath on the back of my neck anxiously listening to a conversation with a potential carrier of her new grandson or daughter... oh god, aqkward moments ensue.

Im fairly judgemental on other peoples opinions and hold the opinions of people around me to a high regard though i would never have tell you. This year I am going to try to work on that especially expressing my emotions better,* emotions, yah right. thats gay. * But im not an all around jerk. Hell I can even be occationally nice but i expect the same in return or else wow, haha im a bitch. A bitch who will be a bitch long after your dead.

sarcasm is my greatest weapon, most people dont get it which i find hillarious. It can be a yes when i really want to say no. its your friend, its your lover its your dad its your mom. Sarcasm is everything and nothing. It simply has the power to remove me from the asshole that noone likes. Sarcasm makes me look a whole lot better and its not a lie in the slighest.
-Sincerly yours, a secretly horrible person lol